yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
