We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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