Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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