69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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