Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
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people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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