People in love make me want to vomit
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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