"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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