My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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