McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
