the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize