It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
