she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
