Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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