More tranny stories later!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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