whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
