Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
