Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
