There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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