i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
