even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
