the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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