Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
