haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I want to make a zoo with you.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize