You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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