I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
