Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
