The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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