yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
