my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
