if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
