my phone needs a breathalizer
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
