No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
