Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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