mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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