I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
