Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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