They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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