i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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