Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.