i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.