i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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