i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize