I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
