sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
