Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
