Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
