Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
