So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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