The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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I deserve this hangover.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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