During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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