ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
