She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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