she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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