Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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