there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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