HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
