He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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